Born: Yes

Age: 412

Weight: ¼ boulder

Height: 11 1/3 daisies

Hair color: Sludge

Eye color: Muck, with a hint of mold.

Distinguishing features: I’m the smart one.

Turn-ons: Flowers, Mabel, Mandy, Dr. Um, being King and long walks in the park.

Turn-offs: Sisters, her toys, not being king and Mum (she’ll turn off anyone).

Occupation: My principle job’s taken tolls, which may explain the economic slump right now.

Hobbies: Um…sometimes I write the songs that make the whole world sick.